Mine's a Guinness!

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Mine's a Guinness!

Postby djphilp on Mon Mar 11, 2013 11:26 pm

Firstly thanks for the revamp SK79. :)

Secondly some new jokes....

I was having dinner with my mother in-law last wednesday and she said to me, "How many potatoes would you like DJ?". I said "Oh, I'll just have one please". She said "It's OK, you don?t have to be polite" "Alright" I said "I'll just have one then, you stupid cow."

I went for a drink in the pub and met a really interesting guy who invented crosswords, I can't remember his name, I think it's P something T something R.

Anyway I went to the doctors yesterday and said I got hurt in a pillow fight 'he said you've got concushion'

I dreamt last night that I was cutting carrots with the devil, I was dicing with death.

And finally...

Neil Back announced as Edinburgh Head Coach!!!
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Re: Mine's a Guinness!

Postby djphilp on Mon Mar 11, 2013 11:28 pm

I'm sorry! :oops:
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Re: Mine's a Guinness!

Postby djphilp on Mon Apr 08, 2013 8:40 pm

Walking in the Meadows the other day I saw an envelope nailed to a tree. No one was about so I had a quick look inside, and there were two season tickets for Edinburgh. First thought was am I being watched - then I thought sod it I'll have that........








after all you can't have too many nails can you........ :roll:
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Re: Mine's a Guinness!

Postby djphilp on Mon Apr 08, 2013 9:00 pm

I recently dislocated my hip playing rugby, and when i went to the hospital the doctor told me he would have to do some complicated and extensive surgery to fix the problem.

But it turns out he was just pulling my leg. :eek:

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My computer froze on me today and I kept getting images of dancing New Zealand rugby players flashing on to the screen.

I think I've been targeted by a Computer Haka. :twisted:

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The Irish rugby team must be fantastic lovers, as they can be on top for 70 minutes and still finish second.

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During the RWC a NZ tabloid newspaper kept publishing stories about "Sonny Wool" the sheep that was predicting the outcome of the rugby world cup matches, most teams and players laughed it off as "harmless fun."

However the welsh were fully behind him.
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